Hey, it's Tony 'The Tiramisu' Tortellini here.
Listen up, 'cause I’m about to teach ya how to write for real cash.
Unlike that jabroni Mike Masters, I know what I'm talkin' about.
Pay attention, or you'll be swimmin' with the fishes. Got it? Good. Let’s get started. 💵✍️
Part 1: Making Your Bones
Hey, it's Tony 'The Tiramisu' Tortellini here.
Whatya mean why do they call me that?
You stupid or summin?
I got more layers to my writing than the Tiramisu that Auntie Floella makes, y'hear.
So ya wanna be a writer?
Well you better listen up close.
"First thing’s first, capisce?
Ya gotta know who ya talkin' to. Like in the old days, I wouldn't sell cannoli to a guy who's lookin' for lasagna.
Research your audience. Find out what they want, what makes 'em tick, then give 'em exactly that.
Understandin' your audience is like knowin' a rival’s weak spot – hit it hard and don’t miss."
(Mike speaking) Err Tony my good fellow, I think the audience is finding your tone somewhat threatening.
Hey Masters you little schmuk, why don’t ya take a hike and let the real pro handle this, huh?
Go sit in the corner and try not to get lost, kid. Tony 'The Tiramisu' Tortellini’s got this.
Write every day, capisce? Build your skills, just like I built my reputation.
You gotta prove yourself. Practice makes perfect, and perfection is how ya make real money.
Were you listenin when I told ya that you need to know your audience, you gotta cotton wool in those ears or something kid?
Know your audience like I know my rivals.
Research who you're writin' for.
Understand their needs, their pains, and their desires. Write to solve their problems. If you can connect with your audience, you'll earn their trust, and their money.
And if they don'y wanna pay. Ya already know who you can call on y'hear me wise guy?
(Mike speaking) Errr, ok, well thanks Tony. We may well invite you back tomorrow for another episode then. I guess...
You might do? Whadiya say to me !
You better do ya little punk, or else you aint gonna be getting up at 4.45am tomorrow.
Or maybe ever again - if ya know wat im sayin !
Mike speaking: Ok Tony, whatever you say man.
(I think I better invite him back again tomorrow kids? Let me know if you agree in the replies ok? Quite frankly Ill be worried if i dont!)
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